Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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