so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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