You work out of a Hotel?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
