Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
