Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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