I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
