Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
