wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
