I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
