hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
