Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
