just tell him i said nine months
false alarm. still invincible.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
