I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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