I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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