Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
