We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize