I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
