I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
