My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
