new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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