Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
