I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
