Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize