i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Welp...herpes.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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