if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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