i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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