How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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