Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
