so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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