Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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