I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
