We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
