The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
