So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize