i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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