a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
