My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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