I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
