I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
