Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
