You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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