I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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