i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
