A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
