you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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