I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
