Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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