Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Congratulations! We have a period
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
