too bad you live with your parents still
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
