I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
