So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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