Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
