Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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