people are starting to question the shark bite story
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize