How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
