So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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