WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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