i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
