then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
