But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
