I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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