i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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