Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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