Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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