My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
