either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
