she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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