The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
