He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
