My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
