hotel room ftw
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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