remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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