So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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