already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
