Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this will be a night to untag.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
