You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize