did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
