so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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