I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
