I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you never un-have a 4some
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
