If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
