Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
